Refi Madness

In January, I met a woman who works as a loan officer for Bank of America. "You should call me about refinancing," she said. So I did. She took down my information, worked her magic at exactly the right moment, and got me a loan at 4 7/8%, a full percentage point below my current one. The rate was available for ONE DAY - it dipped down to that rate, then jumped back up to 5 1/4 the next morning. So I'm happy with the rate she got me.

Nothing else has gone right in connection with this refinancing. The initial documents reflected only my parents (who co-0wn my house) as borrowers, my father's name was misspelled, and the dollar amounts were all wrong. I told the loan officer, and she told me she'd correct the problems.

We requested final documents to review before signing. They didn't arrive, didn't arrive, and didn't arrive. They weren't ready by the time the rate lock was set to expire. So the bank extended the rate, at no cost to me because the problems had been on their end. And when they finally arrived on Thursday - the day before the rate was to expire after being extended - I still wasn't listed as a borrower, and the dollar amounts were still wrong.

I told the loan officer the docs were wrong, and that I expected her to extend the rate again, and to do so again at no cost to me. She promised me that, instead, she'd withdraw the initial application and resubmit, while giving me the same sweet rate.

I have no recourse if she fucks it up again. I never had a binding commitment from the bank to make me the loan. But if I end up losing out on this, I will be pissed.

You just can't find good help these days.

Running to Stand Still

Lately, I've been busting my tail at work. I completed a corporate combination (2 companies becoming subsidiaries of a new parent company) less than 2 weeks ago, and am working on $20 million of financing for the enterprise, selling a business, and buying another. I'm also teaching at a local law school once a week. And when I'm not doing that, I'm DJing every now and again, and running around most weekends.

Is it any wonder that I feel like I never have enough time for anything? Can anyone lend me a weekend? I don't seem to have quite enough.

Super Tuesday

The Presidential primary election comes to California tomorrow. After witnessing the depredations of the Bush administration over the past eight years, I can only hope that our next President will take a dramatic turn away from the pandering that we've witnessed.

I voted for Kerry in the last election. Although I have been registered as an unaffiliated voter since I moved back to California in 2000, I took a field trip on Election Day 2004, cutting class from the tax program in order to go door-to-door, canvassing for the Kerry campaign in rural Pennsylvania. I would like to think that, thanks to my efforts, the precincts I worked ended up voting approximately 60% for Kerry. It wasn't enough, of course, as Kerry was defeated through election-stealing in Ohio. Many people (mostly conservatives) say that a Kerry presidency would have been a disaster; I cannot say whether they're right or wrong, but I can say that I doubt such a presidency could have been worse than the second Bush term we got.

We're faced with a turning point. The nation can either continue down the path of fear, hatred, and domination, or it can turn to hope, acceptance and cooperation. I am hopeful that we continue the progress made in 2006, by electing local and state representatives that listen to their constituents, rather than lobbyists; by voting for people who are willing to listen, rather than condemn; by choosing leaders who embrace diversity, rather than shun it.

Election years are about hope. After eight years of despair from watching this nation's slide into oppression, anger and hard-heartedness, I am once again full of hope this year.

Stir-Fry Goodness

QIR stayed at my place for a few evenings last week. She brought with her some boneless pork chops. Not wanting to broil or fry them, I put my head together with QIR's, and together we decided to stir-fry them. Adding some green onions, thinly-sliced radishes, and bean sprouts, I stir-fried the mixture with some shoyu, rice vinegar and Chinese five spices, then added some stir-fry vegetables QIR picked up at Trader Joe's, and served over rice.

YUM! It was delicious.

Pasties, Part II

I decided to have another go at the meat pastries today, but thought I'd try a different cuisine as inspiration. I used ground turkey, with cinnamon, cumin and paprika, plus golden raisins and almonds, for a North African feel. Added some ginger preserves, sealed it up in puff pastry, and baked the popover-like items for about 25 minutes. The result was pretty good - could have used a bit more of the spices I added, though.

Crossing the Line?

The partner who supervises me at my office is very outspoken in his politics. He has a bumper sticker on his car, proclaiming his position on abortion and the right to choose. He regularly states his opinion of the current administration and the parties that dominate the federal political scene.

Yesterday, he came to me with a request that I sign a petition. As he did, he made a comment about being my employer.

I found this pretty disturbing.

I read over the petition, and decided that I could not, in good conscience, support it. If the petition gathered enough signatures to make it onto the ballot, and were passed, it would change the method of redistricting in California, and would restrict who may participate in the process. While Gerrymandering is a problem, codifying into law a prohibition against certain people being able to participate is wrong in my view.

The attorneys at my firm are all politically active, at least to some degree. The attorney in one office next to mine asked if I wanted an Obama bumper sticker for my car. Another attorney regularly makes statements of disgust with liberal politicians, and praise for conservatives. But asking me to sign a petition, coupled with a reference to being my boss, I think was inappropriate. I don't think he would take adverse action against me for declining to sign, but I am very uncomfortable with the position I've been put in.

Am I overreacting? Or am I right to think that he should not have done this?

Joy

My life doesn't suck right now.

Work is busy. But when isn't it? And what I'm doing right now is pretty awesome. I have a client who's selling his business. Another who's merging his company with another. Friends of mine are referring business to me. As are clients. And professional colleagues.

My kids seem not to hate me *quite* as much as I thought they did.

Things with QIR are going well. She came down to visit earlier this week, spending two very nice nights here before she headed back up to the Bayeria to meet her obligations.

I went to a party at the home of a friend over the weekend. Later, I heard that the other guests were happy to have met me and enjoyed my music. Earlier in the weekend, while my power was out, I had a lovely dinner at one of my favorite restaurants, and was told at the end of the meal that it was on the house.

Does this mean that I'm gonna get walloped with something uber-sucky? Or is this my time to have good and happy things happen to me?

It's a Not-So-Small World

The children arrived last Wednesday evening. Spent a night, a day, another night, and a morning in Santa Cruz. Then we got on the road and headed south, Anaheim-bound.

The kids have been to Disneyland only once before, six years ago. That time, days after the last attack on the World Trade Center, the parks were largely empty. We had no trouble whatsoever running around the Magic Kingdom and California Adventure, riding on whatever rides suited our fancy.

That was not our experience the past three days. Everyone and his brother, aunt, nephew's girlfriend, third cousin twice removed on his mother's side, and pool boy was there. The lines ran more than an hour long. The fast-passes, which Disney came up with years ago as a means of crowd control, ran out. The result was chaos.

On the plus side, they had a good time. Child the Elder didn't get all snide and full of attitude until last night. She did finally deal it out, like she was storing it up just to dish it out all at once. But at least I was spared the crap until the end of their visit.

Curry Pasties

I recently got it in my head to try to come up with a curried beef puff pastry-type item. I already had some curry powder, so I picked up some ground beef, onion, carrots, chutney, and pie crusts. Either tomorrow night or Saturday, I'll experiment with them. I'll post the results here, so watch this space.

I also came across a recipe for a Moroccan chicken pot pie, which calls for cinnamon, cumin and paprika, as well as golden raisins and green olives. But for the green olives, it sounds quite intriguing, so I think I'll try that one on Sunday. I thought I'd throw carrots and perhaps some almonds into that, and see how it goes. Anyone have any other suggestions on what would be good with the items I've already named? And for the record, I'm not going to put the olives in.

* 12/26/07 UPDATE * The beef pasties turned out very well! I ended up preparing the filling by using beef, onion, carrots, some frozen peas and chutney. I still have about half of the filling left, so I'm going to try making another batch using tamarind sauce.

Three Non-Proverbs

May you live in interesting times;
May you come to the attention of those in authority;
May you find what you are looking for.

These are supposedly three Chinese curses, each more dire than the last. From what I've read, they're not really - the first record of the phrase "may you live in interesting times" apparently comes from the 1950s.

Nevertheless, as far as curses go, they're pretty potent. If you find what you're looking for, it often will cause you to live in more interesting times. Interesting doesn't mean better; it means more chaotic, less predictable, and more surprising. Does it get more interesting after you've found what you've been looking for? Is it because you now have what you didn't before, and the having creates chaos? Is it because you no longer have the structure of trying to attain the goal - to obtain what you're looking for? And the very notion of attracting the attention of those in authority... *shudder*

In my lifetime, I've gotten some of the things I'd been looking for. They definitely made my life more interesting. Some were good; others, decidedly not.

I'm good with the interesting for now, thank you very much. I don't need any more. I'm not sure I could survive it.

Holidazed

I got a phone call this morning from my parents, asking whether I had figured out what I'm doing for Christmas. They're going to visit my sister and her family back east (why we refer to it as "back east" is beyond me; my one grandfather was the last member of my family before my kids and one of my sister's to be born anywhere other than California, so referring to it as though it's where we came from is a bit misleading), and my kids come out here right after Christmas, so they already knew I wouldn't be going out with them to see my nephews. QIR will be visiting her own folks in New Mexico, so spending the holiday with her is not an option. My best friends here in town will be out of the country. I could go visit one, the other or both of my brothers, but I don't love the idea of going to the Central Valley, and I'd be surprised if they aren't spending the holiday with their respective spouses.

I'm faced with the prospect of spending Christmas alone, for the first time in my life. I've spent Thanksgiving alone before, but never Christmas. It seems just a bit daunting and depressing.

On the Road Again

The client who sent/took me to Philadelphia earlier this month informed me today that he needs me to do another in-person negotiation with him, in San Diego. We'll be flying out on Monday at 0-black-hundred. I fly back to San Jose that afternoon, while my client and his business partner go back to New York.


This is my best client right now, for whom I do more work than anyone else. I love doing the work for him that I do. but sometimes, I wish I could do just a bit less.

Loneliness - It's What's For Dinner

QIR discussed in a recent blog post her lack of appetite. She said that she enjoys cooking, but can't be motivated to eat.

I have something of the opposite problem: I am fine with eating, I enjoy the sensations associated with food, but I hate cooking these days. I am alone most nights, and can't be motivated to fix dinner. I find it pretty depressing to spend lots of time in the kitchen preparing a meal when I have nobody to share it with.

Most nights, I end up taking a mostly-prepared Trader Joe's something out of either the fridge or the freezer, putting it in the microwave, and taking it out five to ten minutes later. The net result is that I am likely getting way more sugar, sodium and fat than I probably should, and not nearly enough complex carbohydrates (read: veggies).

What's the solution? How does a bachelor get motivated to fix and eat better, healthier food? Inquiring minds want to know.

In A New York State of Mind

Holiday travel is grinding. There's no other way to describe it. Everyone and his aunt is trying to fly from one place to another in time to watch the Thanksgiving Day Parade on TV. The result of that is that in order to make a 7:00 flight, you have to get up at 4:30 in the morning.

I got caught up in that same mentality this morning, waking up a mere 3 hours after going to bed, and driving to the airport at oh-black-hundred. Cleared security just in time to board my flight to Vegas. That flight got in just in time for me to board my connection to Philadelphia. Arrived early in the City of Brotherly Angst, retrieved my children from my former sister-in-law (the Ex flew to Texas for the holiday), and went to the train station to travel up to New York. We sat and waited two hours for the train, then rode the rails up to the Big Apple. Checked into our hotel in Chelsea - nice place, decent room.

I love this city. I've loved it for many many years. I'll never forget being held up at gunpoint in Grand Central Terminal, back about 20 years ago. I was a young, very naive kid at the time. It was only my second or third time in the city, and I had no idea how to handle myself. I now know how to take care of myself in such a place, and will never put myself in a situation where something like that can happen ever again. And there's just so much about the city that I love - the constant go-go-go! pace about it. The fact that anything can happen, and often does, at all hours. I wanted to stay here, back when I graduated from Tax School. I wish I could come back. Perhaps one day, it can happen.

After checking in, we walked down to my old stomping grounds - Greenwich Village. I lived a block from Washington Square Park. We'd intended to visit our favorite ice cream shop. Sadly, Mary's Dairy is no more. The grate in front is shut, and a sign above reads "store for rent". We walked across the street to a newish chocolatier, who confirmed that Mary has gone the way of Elvis, and left the building. It makes me sad.

Planes, Trains and Automobiles, Redux

The period before and after Thanksgiving represents the busiest travel time of the year. Amtrak throws additional trains on routes up and down the Eastern seaboard. Airports are clogged with holiday travelers. Highways become jammed as everyone tries to get out of here to go there to visit family.

As a society, we've wholeheartedly adopted the idea of migrating from one city to another, seeking fortune, experiences, or a fresh start. Many consider it de rigeur to travel far away from their home town/city/region for university, to travel from one "exotic" locale to another, or to live somewhere precisely because it's new and different. I am no different - I went to university in another country precisely because it was another country. In addition to Northern California and Canada, I've lived on the East Coast and in the South. With the exception of New York, I must say that I'm done living in the cities I've left, and would be happy with only visiting in the future. There are too many other cities I'd like to experience on an immersion basis - Seattle, Chicago and London come prominently to mind.

This week, I join the travelers. I fly to Philadelphia on Wednesday. The children and I will then board a train up to New York, and spend a long weekend in that city. They spent quite a few weekends there when I was living in Greenwich Village.

I hope that they get a case of fascination with exploring the world. I'd hate to see them go off to college in the next county, and stay in their little corner of East Bumf*#%. There's so much to see, and so much to do in the world, it'd be a shame to miss it.

Love Will Tear Us Apart

I learned not long ago that the husband of a friend of mine decided to call it a marriage, and moved out of the home they had "built" together. They've been married less than three years, and have no children, so one could say that there wasn't much invested in their marriage.

Another friend revealed to me that her husband had been cheating on her, having sex with women he was finding on the Internet. They had a huge fight, she was hospitalized, and while she was medically indisposed, he moved himself, the kids, and all their furniture out of the house, got a restraining order against her (how, I don't know), and filed for divorce. Some might say that if he's that bad, she's better off not being married to him.

Answering both of these situations, I can only say that I am deeply saddened to see these marriages fail and the love that they represented die. Marriage is a major commitment. When you enter into that commitment, our legal system says that it's a partnership for life. Yes, you can end it before that, but it's no easy thing. Many states still have only for-fault divorce, requiring what I heard one divorce lawyer call "good reason" in order to end the relationship -- adultery, cruelty, and abandonment are the ones I remember at the moment. California has no-fault divorce -- the grounds for divorce in California are "irreconcilable differences leading to an irretrievable breakdown of the marriage." Or something pretty close to that, anyway. At any rate, the legal system in California seems to recognize that you don't have to assign blame. People change over time, and it's tragic when you can no longer count on the person you thought you'd spend the rest of your life with, but as I see it, little is gained from pointing fingers at each other.

My own marriage lasted a bit over eight years. I was unhappy for more than half of that. I think my ex-wife was too. We tried to make it work, but in the end, it was like trying to seize mercury. It's been over six years since we separated, and over four years since the marriage was formally ended with the decree. As QIR would agree if she were asked, I'm still healing.

Marriage is a wonderful idea. I think it's lovely when two people decide that they want to take on the roles and titles of Husband and Wife. Or Partners for Life. I don't believe in the whole "marriage is reserved for heterosexual couples" crap -- if you are willing to take on the legal responsibilities of marriage, you should get the legal benefits, regardless of what kind of plumbing you or your mate have. When it comes to application of the theory to me, I don't know if I can do it again. I like to think that maybe, someday, I could. I know QIR would love that.

And to the friends I referred to at the top of this post, you'll both make it through this.

Leavin' on a Jet Plane

I went to San Diego for a tax conference a week ago Friday. While there, I spoke to a client who informed me that he needed me to fly to Philadelphia for work. So I booked a flight leaving the following Monday. Sunday, I flew back to Northern California, and swapped out one set of Armani Armor for another.

Monday morning saw me at San Jose airport, flying to Philadelphia. Met the client en route (he'd been meeting with manufacturers in Southern California that morning), and we sat on the plane discussing the deal we were going to negotiate. Major parts of the deal got worked out, and I stayed on to document it, while the client went on to talk to finance people in New York.

Wednesday night was Child the Younger's birthday. One of the things she'd requested for her birthday was to come out to California for the weekend. So Thursday, we flew together back to San Jose. We spent the weekend watching DVDs of one of our favorite TV shows, seeing family, and generally spending time like we so rarely get to do. Last night, we stayed at my parents' house in the North Bay, then headed this morning to the airport.

Every time I put them on a plane to go back to their mother's house, I feel like I lost.

Doctor Who, Battlestar Galactica, Bionic Woman, and Death and Taxes

Death and Taxes is back.

I'm in a new place - living by the Monterey Bay. I'm employed - doing more or less what I wanted to be doing. I'm a homeowner. My kids still live in East Bumblef***, New Jersey. Child the Elder seems to hate me - thanks, Ex. However, QIR is still wonderful, so positive points for that.

Life 1.0 (pre-law school) was an abject failure. Life 2.0 (post-law, pre-tax) wasn't much better. Let's see if Life 3.0 flies.