Pomp and Circumstance

A week ago, Child the Younger graduated from 8th grade. I flew to New York two Saturdays ago, headed down on Sunday to the town where the children's mother lives, spent the week there, doing fun stuff with the kids (the Indiana Jones movie is bubblegumalicious), watched Child the Younger go through the exercises, went back up to New York last Saturday, and flew back Sunday night.

I'm still jet-lagged. I have two kids in high school. I'm not sure which is a greater signal that I'm getting old.

Law and Marriage

It's been all over the news the past couple of days: in a 4-3 ruling, the California Supreme Court overturned the law enacted by Proposition 22, stating that only marriages between a man and a woman will be valid and recognized in California. In so doing, the Court held that under the California Constitution, sexual orientation is a suspect classification, similar to race, religion and gender. This is the more remarkable part of the ruling, I think. In essence, it means that state laws discriminating on the basis of sexual orientation must serve a compelling government interest, must be narrowly tailored to achieve that interest, and must achieve that interest by the least restrictive means possible.

Conservatives have already jumped on their soapboxes, saying that the Court is full of activist judges that have flouted the will of the people. They argue that Prop. 22 was approved by 61% of voters, so it should not be overturned by four men and women.

These conservatives are missing a major point. It may have been "the will of the people" to adopt a law to ban same-sex marriage. That doesn't make it proper. The courts are charged with upholding the Constitution. If a law goes against the Constitution, it cannot survive. Prior to 1954, it was the will of the people that whites could use certain facilities, while blacks could not. Legislators in many states were following the will of the people when they adopted racially discriminatory laws. The US Supreme Court held that such laws denied blacks equal protection.

The California Constitution permits voters to amend the Constitution through a ballot initiative, by a simple majority. The proponents of Prop. 22 have submitted an initiative to amend the Constitution by adding to it the language of that Proposition. It is my sincere hope that California voters recognize that voting in favor of that initiative would mean that they, the voters, accept and embrace discrimination.

Running to Stand Still

Lately, I've been busting my tail at work. I completed a corporate combination (2 companies becoming subsidiaries of a new parent company) less than 2 weeks ago, and am working on $20 million of financing for the enterprise, selling a business, and buying another. I'm also teaching at a local law school once a week. And when I'm not doing that, I'm DJing every now and again, and running around most weekends.

Is it any wonder that I feel like I never have enough time for anything? Can anyone lend me a weekend? I don't seem to have quite enough.

Super Tuesday

The Presidential primary election comes to California tomorrow. After witnessing the depredations of the Bush administration over the past eight years, I can only hope that our next President will take a dramatic turn away from the pandering that we've witnessed.

I voted for Kerry in the last election. Although I have been registered as an unaffiliated voter since I moved back to California in 2000, I took a field trip on Election Day 2004, cutting class from the tax program in order to go door-to-door, canvassing for the Kerry campaign in rural Pennsylvania. I would like to think that, thanks to my efforts, the precincts I worked ended up voting approximately 60% for Kerry. It wasn't enough, of course, as Kerry was defeated through election-stealing in Ohio. Many people (mostly conservatives) say that a Kerry presidency would have been a disaster; I cannot say whether they're right or wrong, but I can say that I doubt such a presidency could have been worse than the second Bush term we got.

We're faced with a turning point. The nation can either continue down the path of fear, hatred, and domination, or it can turn to hope, acceptance and cooperation. I am hopeful that we continue the progress made in 2006, by electing local and state representatives that listen to their constituents, rather than lobbyists; by voting for people who are willing to listen, rather than condemn; by choosing leaders who embrace diversity, rather than shun it.

Election years are about hope. After eight years of despair from watching this nation's slide into oppression, anger and hard-heartedness, I am once again full of hope this year.

Crossing the Line?

The partner who supervises me at my office is very outspoken in his politics. He has a bumper sticker on his car, proclaiming his position on abortion and the right to choose. He regularly states his opinion of the current administration and the parties that dominate the federal political scene.

Yesterday, he came to me with a request that I sign a petition. As he did, he made a comment about being my employer.

I found this pretty disturbing.

I read over the petition, and decided that I could not, in good conscience, support it. If the petition gathered enough signatures to make it onto the ballot, and were passed, it would change the method of redistricting in California, and would restrict who may participate in the process. While Gerrymandering is a problem, codifying into law a prohibition against certain people being able to participate is wrong in my view.

The attorneys at my firm are all politically active, at least to some degree. The attorney in one office next to mine asked if I wanted an Obama bumper sticker for my car. Another attorney regularly makes statements of disgust with liberal politicians, and praise for conservatives. But asking me to sign a petition, coupled with a reference to being my boss, I think was inappropriate. I don't think he would take adverse action against me for declining to sign, but I am very uncomfortable with the position I've been put in.

Am I overreacting? Or am I right to think that he should not have done this?

Joy

My life doesn't suck right now.

Work is busy. But when isn't it? And what I'm doing right now is pretty awesome. I have a client who's selling his business. Another who's merging his company with another. Friends of mine are referring business to me. As are clients. And professional colleagues.

My kids seem not to hate me *quite* as much as I thought they did.

Things with QIR are going well. She came down to visit earlier this week, spending two very nice nights here before she headed back up to the Bayeria to meet her obligations.

I went to a party at the home of a friend over the weekend. Later, I heard that the other guests were happy to have met me and enjoyed my music. Earlier in the weekend, while my power was out, I had a lovely dinner at one of my favorite restaurants, and was told at the end of the meal that it was on the house.

Does this mean that I'm gonna get walloped with something uber-sucky? Or is this my time to have good and happy things happen to me?

Three Non-Proverbs

May you live in interesting times;
May you come to the attention of those in authority;
May you find what you are looking for.

These are supposedly three Chinese curses, each more dire than the last. From what I've read, they're not really - the first record of the phrase "may you live in interesting times" apparently comes from the 1950s.

Nevertheless, as far as curses go, they're pretty potent. If you find what you're looking for, it often will cause you to live in more interesting times. Interesting doesn't mean better; it means more chaotic, less predictable, and more surprising. Does it get more interesting after you've found what you've been looking for? Is it because you now have what you didn't before, and the having creates chaos? Is it because you no longer have the structure of trying to attain the goal - to obtain what you're looking for? And the very notion of attracting the attention of those in authority... *shudder*

In my lifetime, I've gotten some of the things I'd been looking for. They definitely made my life more interesting. Some were good; others, decidedly not.

I'm good with the interesting for now, thank you very much. I don't need any more. I'm not sure I could survive it.

Holidazed

I got a phone call this morning from my parents, asking whether I had figured out what I'm doing for Christmas. They're going to visit my sister and her family back east (why we refer to it as "back east" is beyond me; my one grandfather was the last member of my family before my kids and one of my sister's to be born anywhere other than California, so referring to it as though it's where we came from is a bit misleading), and my kids come out here right after Christmas, so they already knew I wouldn't be going out with them to see my nephews. QIR will be visiting her own folks in New Mexico, so spending the holiday with her is not an option. My best friends here in town will be out of the country. I could go visit one, the other or both of my brothers, but I don't love the idea of going to the Central Valley, and I'd be surprised if they aren't spending the holiday with their respective spouses.

I'm faced with the prospect of spending Christmas alone, for the first time in my life. I've spent Thanksgiving alone before, but never Christmas. It seems just a bit daunting and depressing.

Love Will Tear Us Apart

I learned not long ago that the husband of a friend of mine decided to call it a marriage, and moved out of the home they had "built" together. They've been married less than three years, and have no children, so one could say that there wasn't much invested in their marriage.

Another friend revealed to me that her husband had been cheating on her, having sex with women he was finding on the Internet. They had a huge fight, she was hospitalized, and while she was medically indisposed, he moved himself, the kids, and all their furniture out of the house, got a restraining order against her (how, I don't know), and filed for divorce. Some might say that if he's that bad, she's better off not being married to him.

Answering both of these situations, I can only say that I am deeply saddened to see these marriages fail and the love that they represented die. Marriage is a major commitment. When you enter into that commitment, our legal system says that it's a partnership for life. Yes, you can end it before that, but it's no easy thing. Many states still have only for-fault divorce, requiring what I heard one divorce lawyer call "good reason" in order to end the relationship -- adultery, cruelty, and abandonment are the ones I remember at the moment. California has no-fault divorce -- the grounds for divorce in California are "irreconcilable differences leading to an irretrievable breakdown of the marriage." Or something pretty close to that, anyway. At any rate, the legal system in California seems to recognize that you don't have to assign blame. People change over time, and it's tragic when you can no longer count on the person you thought you'd spend the rest of your life with, but as I see it, little is gained from pointing fingers at each other.

My own marriage lasted a bit over eight years. I was unhappy for more than half of that. I think my ex-wife was too. We tried to make it work, but in the end, it was like trying to seize mercury. It's been over six years since we separated, and over four years since the marriage was formally ended with the decree. As QIR would agree if she were asked, I'm still healing.

Marriage is a wonderful idea. I think it's lovely when two people decide that they want to take on the roles and titles of Husband and Wife. Or Partners for Life. I don't believe in the whole "marriage is reserved for heterosexual couples" crap -- if you are willing to take on the legal responsibilities of marriage, you should get the legal benefits, regardless of what kind of plumbing you or your mate have. When it comes to application of the theory to me, I don't know if I can do it again. I like to think that maybe, someday, I could. I know QIR would love that.

And to the friends I referred to at the top of this post, you'll both make it through this.

Doctor Who, Battlestar Galactica, Bionic Woman, and Death and Taxes

Death and Taxes is back.

I'm in a new place - living by the Monterey Bay. I'm employed - doing more or less what I wanted to be doing. I'm a homeowner. My kids still live in East Bumblef***, New Jersey. Child the Elder seems to hate me - thanks, Ex. However, QIR is still wonderful, so positive points for that.

Life 1.0 (pre-law school) was an abject failure. Life 2.0 (post-law, pre-tax) wasn't much better. Let's see if Life 3.0 flies.